It is with disappointment that I tap away at the slightly worn keys of my laptop. The road map announcement made it clear that we have a PM who is either rather sadistic in continuing to deny us our release from lockdown to indulge in a little pleasure or perhaps he himself is being restricted, well he is a father to a young baby, and feels like imposing that frustration on us all.
Scrolling through the reams of supporting documentation that flew across the internet it suddenly came to me like a crash of thunder, no, don’t worry it wasn’t really a storm to end all storms but merely it could have been yet another shopping delivery clanking its way to a desperate half-starved household somewhere on the road. I digress, what is to be done to have some fun? Is there a way out of our house arrest?
Well there appears to be, but only for certain occupations. Per gov.uk:
“Where it is necessary for you to work in other people’s homes you can continue to, for example if you’re a:
Perhaps it’s time for a change of career. Forget the stereotypical French maid costume the way forward is mobile cleaner costume: hair scraped back, face mask, trainers, jeans, polo shirt with a loose tabard with that big mysterious pocket at the front. Suddenly this becomes a rather erotic thought knowing this costume belies the curvaceous body encased in luxurious lingerie craving your gentle touch.
Is your mind running amok too? So many erotic possibilities…
Perhaps the cleaner arrives only to find your heating is stuck on tropical. In the interests of health and safety there is only one thing to do… yes, we must assist each other to strip off our outer layers of decency and…
Maybe you find your cleaner has an attitude and sharply expresses that you can’t possibly think she is cleaning up that mess? On with you’re the marigolds for you while she intently watches your every move and thoroughly inspects everything you touch…
Possibly there is a problem with Henry’s (the hoover) hose. Now how did that get in there but how opportune that the neighbours didn’t see.
I obviously jest, or maybe…. do I really after today’s Budget announcement. It transpires from the additional detail issued, the devils in the detail ~ the self-employed who are abiding by the restrictions imposed by the Government and not working in certain industries, the adult industry included, have been royally screwed over by the Chancellor! This is causing great consternation in lots of industries were the self-employed have been forced to stop working which means losing all their income. Sadly, our Mr Sunak, who clearly has no idea of how difficult it is to be self-employed, believes it is quite acceptable to stop people from earning a living and leave them without any compensation/income for 3 months in the form of the SEISS4 for the loss of this income.
To add fuel to the fire I watch on a daily basis as my neighbours who are NHS frontline workers, whose income has not been affected, continue to have a full social life ignoring the restrictions the rest of us are being severely affected by and why? To “protect the NHS”!
So what started as a jest…