Oh dear… fancy being my therapist!

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Hi All

I’m back and have distracted myself through the post-holiday blues with your help.  My holiday was incredible if not a little scary at times.  My destination can only be described as paradise for tourists but hell on Earth for locals, at times the conditions could only be described as medieval.  Of course I lived in the local community, bypassing the tourist experience.  I’ve done the tourist thing before and wanted to experience more of real life in one of the poorest countries you could imagine!  Well, you wouldn’t expect anything else from me, would you?  Despite the third world conditions, the people are incredible, I feel very privileged and humbled by the experience.

I did lose another stone in weight while I was away and am working hard at putting it back on.

My first week back has been fabulous, thank you for making my return such good fun in between my place being the proverbial Piccadilly Circus for repairmen.  It looks like the scaffolding will be dismantled soon, please let it be very soon, I have a dread of crashing into it in the dark!

I’ve had a full-on weekend but unfortunately with a few mishaps.  I’ve managed to injure my trapezius; dare I admit by pruning a tree and today movement is challenging.  I’m hoping my massage therapist will magically cure all.  I’ve also managed to slice a digit with my new Ninja kitchen appliance.  What can I say, if I’m going to be wifey, I need to become a domestic goddess and learn to master these scary devices.  Interestingly, I have no problem with the dungeon equipment that in lots of cases is designed to inflict pain, which most people would shy away from, but put me in a domestic setting and I’m a hopeless quivering wreck!

Ahh, you spotted and are possibly shocked by the “wifey” comment.  I’ve stalled the proposal, there is so much to consider.  I guess the fact I can’t answer yes tells me all I need to know.  He isn’t a new suitor; I’ve known him for almost 2 decades and even get on well with all his family and friends.  Marrying him would give me the opportunity to live an amazing but very difficult life full of adventures travelling across the world.  He is also drop dead gorgeous and most ladies go weak at the knees in his presence.  Dare I say that’s not enough, I just don’t love him and don’t think I ever would.

On a slightly different tack, it’s the season of exes coming out of the woodwork (again!).  Every so often this happens, is it something to do with the luna cycle, football season, or perhaps the weather?

I’ve observed that these former suitors all come with the same ill-judged expectation that I will be over the moon to see them and want to pick up their view of what we had.  Very bizarre, they are exes for a reason and in most cases, that is because they either disrespected me or took me for granted only to realise the error of their ways after I finally called it a day.

You would imagine when they reappear they would be out to impress to win me over.  How wrong you are:

When they reappear, do they make any effort to woo me, swanky dinner dates, romantic walks or at a bare minimum a takeout coffee?  ….No…

Do they answer my questions as to why they thought I deserved to be treated as they did? …No….

Do they show they are willing to treat me any better?  …No…

However, each and every one is delusional in their belief that I would want to jump into a full sexual relationship with them lol.  They’ve missed the very simple fact that if a lady wants meaningless bunk-up, there are no end of men that would be happy to oblige and even put up a pretense to make the lady feel extra special.

There was a social media post that sums the situation up nicely:

What is worse:  Loving someone you can’t have? Or Having someone you can’t love?

I know lots of you rub through life with the latter situation whether that be out of habit after being trapped into a shotgun wedding or marrying to improve social standing/career prospects and then staying out of inertia and a fear of losing financial security over and above being with a true love.

I’ve come to the realization I don’t have it in me to do that, I have passion in my soul and am not willing to die a little just to be with anyone.

Thank you all for reading through my therapy session.  I think I will just throw myself into my current life and will forget about skipping down the aisle, white isn’t my colour anyway – my last wedding dress was purple and black lol.  That just leaves the issue of how to tell him?!

While I ponder on that one perhaps you would like to see my tanned bits.  OK for anyone else that would be white bits, but despite the 41-degree heatwave my delicate milky pallor was protected by lashings of factor 50 and an obsession with the shade lol.

Bet you can’t wait for my next rambling blog!

Adele x

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